Hola Hola Hoolaaa!! ( Totally sang that..lol)
Hey Family! It's been a couple days! But I'm back :)
I do want to offer a disclaimer for this post. I know I generally write from the point of view of a struggling young lady and all that we have to deal with from the opposite sex. However, today is a Reflection Day- time to look in the mirror. Time to see what the guys have to deal with from us. So don't get mad at me for spilling some females secrets lol or "taking their side". Change starts within.
Mean, insecure, hot tempered, spiteful, #Petty, emotional, indecisive, stubborn, and controlling. These are a few words to describe me a while back. Yes, little ol' me. I had to be in charge and would have it no other way. I was not the best at listening. By listening, I don't mean hearing. I could hear just fine, but I didn't hear to understand and reply. I heard enough to yell or to create my own ideas about the situation.
Two things I was the master of was expecting my partner to be a mind reader and assuming things. Ladies, lets bare it all for a quick second. We are borderline Coo Coo for CoCo Puffs! LOL! Our boyfriend/fiance/husband does or says something we don't like, we realize he has no idea about it and we give him the silent treatment/ignore his calls or text, give him attitude yet expecting him to know whats wrong and apologize. To add to the madness, when he asks what is wrong... we say "nothing" or "I'm fine" (throw both hands in the air) Just nuts! But that's us! How is he suppose to fix it when the poor guy has no clue he's even in a dispute. Now, after sometime in the relationship and getting to know each other both of you should know the hot buttons and not to push them. But we all slip, so let that man "live" so to speak. Communicate, CALMLY and explain what happened, how it made you feel and why.
If my ex did not answer his phone when I thought he was free, I assumed everything imaginable from him cheating, being arrested, killed and even to him being kidnapped by aliens. Don't judge me, you never know..LOL. When he did call me back I would go OFF! What were you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? You didn't you hear your phone? Where was your phone? Why wasn't it charged? You should have anticipated that I would call you at 7:38 pm. Keep your phone with you at all times!! All of that before he could even say A WORD!. smh! -___- The crazy part is that I knew he had a messed up phone that didnt really work without being plugged in Ghetto, I know! lol And I knew where he was, who he was with and what they were doing. But that one missed call. Lack of trust and assumptions.
I pushed that guy so much thinking it was bringing him closer to God and in turn to me. WRONG! (I don't know how that logic made sense to me... like really Faith??)
The bible gives us beautiful examples of the women that we should model after Proverbs 31, Ruth, and Esther, etc. Gentle and Quiet Spirit, patient and understand, prayerful, nurturing, loving and wise, etc. We cannot want and Ephesians 5:25-33 man, a Godly man and then treat him like scum. Even if he is not a Godly man, treating him like crap actually says more about us than it does about him. We cannot allow circumstances to dictate our Christian walk. So all that negativity and frustration we feel, we need to let that down at the feet of Jesus. We need to pray to God not to harden our hearts towards our men but to help us help them. And- if it be, ask if the situation is right for us. God may very well want you out of that relationship. But you cannot allow this world or any man to consume you so much that you forget who you are in Christ.
I hope this helps a sister. All that negativity is really eating away at you more than anyone else. You've got to prepare for that husband you've been praying for. God is protective of his sons as well. He will not send him to a woman that will break him rather than help him.
Love ya to Peace,
Faith. Loves
Hey Family! It's been a couple days! But I'm back :)
I do want to offer a disclaimer for this post. I know I generally write from the point of view of a struggling young lady and all that we have to deal with from the opposite sex. However, today is a Reflection Day- time to look in the mirror. Time to see what the guys have to deal with from us. So don't get mad at me for spilling some females secrets lol or "taking their side". Change starts within.
Mean, insecure, hot tempered, spiteful, #Petty, emotional, indecisive, stubborn, and controlling. These are a few words to describe me a while back. Yes, little ol' me. I had to be in charge and would have it no other way. I was not the best at listening. By listening, I don't mean hearing. I could hear just fine, but I didn't hear to understand and reply. I heard enough to yell or to create my own ideas about the situation.
Two things I was the master of was expecting my partner to be a mind reader and assuming things. Ladies, lets bare it all for a quick second. We are borderline Coo Coo for CoCo Puffs! LOL! Our boyfriend/fiance/husband does or says something we don't like, we realize he has no idea about it and we give him the silent treatment/ignore his calls or text, give him attitude yet expecting him to know whats wrong and apologize. To add to the madness, when he asks what is wrong... we say "nothing" or "I'm fine" (throw both hands in the air) Just nuts! But that's us! How is he suppose to fix it when the poor guy has no clue he's even in a dispute. Now, after sometime in the relationship and getting to know each other both of you should know the hot buttons and not to push them. But we all slip, so let that man "live" so to speak. Communicate, CALMLY and explain what happened, how it made you feel and why.
If my ex did not answer his phone when I thought he was free, I assumed everything imaginable from him cheating, being arrested, killed and even to him being kidnapped by aliens. Don't judge me, you never know..LOL. When he did call me back I would go OFF! What were you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? You didn't you hear your phone? Where was your phone? Why wasn't it charged? You should have anticipated that I would call you at 7:38 pm. Keep your phone with you at all times!! All of that before he could even say A WORD!. smh! -___- The crazy part is that I knew he had a messed up phone that didnt really work without being plugged in Ghetto, I know! lol And I knew where he was, who he was with and what they were doing. But that one missed call. Lack of trust and assumptions.
I pushed that guy so much thinking it was bringing him closer to God and in turn to me. WRONG! (I don't know how that logic made sense to me... like really Faith??)
The bible gives us beautiful examples of the women that we should model after Proverbs 31, Ruth, and Esther, etc. Gentle and Quiet Spirit, patient and understand, prayerful, nurturing, loving and wise, etc. We cannot want and Ephesians 5:25-33 man, a Godly man and then treat him like scum. Even if he is not a Godly man, treating him like crap actually says more about us than it does about him. We cannot allow circumstances to dictate our Christian walk. So all that negativity and frustration we feel, we need to let that down at the feet of Jesus. We need to pray to God not to harden our hearts towards our men but to help us help them. And- if it be, ask if the situation is right for us. God may very well want you out of that relationship. But you cannot allow this world or any man to consume you so much that you forget who you are in Christ.
I hope this helps a sister. All that negativity is really eating away at you more than anyone else. You've got to prepare for that husband you've been praying for. God is protective of his sons as well. He will not send him to a woman that will break him rather than help him.
Love ya to Peace,
Faith. Loves
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