Forgiveness

This is a very impromptu post ( it's clearly past my time to sleep -12am). However this topic has been weighing on my heart. Forgiveness. I love Jesus! I want to serve God and be a light unto the world. I want God to be pleased with me. I'm constant checking myself to make sure I'm walking right before him. And then I come across forgiveness. 

I struggle so much to forgive people. These people that I have yet to forgive are walking around living their lives and I can't seem to forgive them. I don't know if it's because I want closure or an explaination of why they hurt me. Or even if I did something wrong, I just need to know what happened. It's so difficult to forgive. The bible and Lord's Prayer says " forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us" - I'm in trouble then. I'm trying my best to forgive but when I think of certain folks all that they said or didn't/ did or didn't do comes up. I don't know I guess I need to pray harder. I'm gotten really good at burying my real emotions. That's good or bad? 

Anywho, you guys are my sounding board. I just need to get this out. Forgiveness is huge and sometimes difficult to get a firm grip on. 

Love ya to Peace,

Faith.Loved